Hope, County Durham

Hello, I’m Hope.

I have multiple conditions, the main one affecting my life being Functional Neurological Disorder (FND).

When I was 11 I developed Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) this was the beginning of a long journey that would take us four years up to now, of fighting and battles. After pushing myself into remission, a year after my initial accident I went on to develop ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and was also diagnosed with Hypermobility Syndrome (now known as Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder) along with that. Again I got myself to a point of feeling much better but unfortunately developed seizures which have been constant, 10 times a day for the last 2 years. Since day one of being ill and in pain I’ve dealt with the disbelief of doctors and the treatment that comes along with that, which only worsened when I began having seizures.

FND is a huge part of my life, isolating me from friends, a normal life and sometimes even myself as the guilt I have been made to feel seems to eat away at me. Sometimes I feel as if I might explode from the emotions trapped inside of me as I feel my body being pulled from my control. These images I created represent some of the thoughts and emotions many chronically ill people feel, but especially those with something like FND, where commonly negative assumptions are made and the damage left behind by doctors can prove more difficult to shake than the symptoms themselves. I hope that with each year, more and more is discovered, shared and fought for, I want to make sure I’m a part of that. No one here is guilty, or should ever feel ashamed, our body’s are ours and just because they react differently doesn’t mean we are worth any less. I have hope and I will fight to give it to anyone that feels like they’ve lost all the hope they had, no one has to be alone in this and no one should be.

Every fighter is part of my family and family will fight for one another.

Always.

Hope x

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